Saturday, June 20, 2009

Chapter 5 - Having Understood The Truth IX

A Pronouncement

  • I've gained some strength since the start of my hospital stay.
  • I can now make two return journeys holding on to the parallel bars, but it's still impossible to do practical walking while holding onto something.
  • Regarding my speech, people often have to ask me to repeat myself. I was hoping to use writing as only the final tool of communication, but I have had to use it a few times.
  • My meals have been changed from ordinary food to chopped stuff.

Today was my last day in the hospital. I did my final washing at the risk of my life. I got up at 4:30 and went down to the room. There was nobody there. It was lucky I could use the machine right away. But when I had to move the washing from the spin drum to the drier, I couldn't do it unless I was in a standing position. Normally someone helps me.
"Mom, help me!" I shouted in my heart, but there was nothing I could do. I realized I will have to face this kind of thing many times in the future.
"Your disease won't get any better, Little Aya," Dr. Yamamoto told me, "and it could get worse. But in order to slow down its progress, you must train yourself to stimulate your brain."

That was a very tough and painful thing to hear. But thanks for telling me the truth, anyway. How should I live in the future? The choice of paths I can take has been narrowed down. It seems very demanding. But I'm determined to live my life facing forward, even if I have to crawl. I shouldn't shrink from it.

Dr. Yamamoto also kindly said, "Don't let a cold develop. Please ring the hospital immediately if you have trouble breathing or have a temperature. Keep stretching your Achilles tendon and do lots of deep breathing excercises. I hope you'll keep moving around as much as you can."

Thank you Dr. Yamamoto, all the nurses, and the other patients. I think I may need your support again some day. I hope you'll look after me then in the same way.

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